THE BEREA TRIANGLE

Ok. I guess I should write this. I've been dinking around reading old emails because I don't want to write because this has been the longest week I've had since the beginning of my mission. But at least it's been a good long. I just can look back on Thursday and feel like it was three weeks ago. I already know I'm going to leave stuff out, but I'll give the best highlights I can.

Worst things first: Trinia won't talk to us. She won't answer her phone or the door. The other day we knew she was in there and we asked her to open up and we even sang a hymn on her porch. But she wouldn't come out. It's been hard. I hope she'll recognize the difference in her life without the gospel and that she'll know she can call us when she's ready.

Elder Edwards, Sister Noakes and I are all from Las Vegas
 and all used to be in the Kentuckiana District together.
 They're in the other zone that meets with the
 Lexington Zone at Zone Conferences
so we had a reunion.

Best things second: Adam! So, we had zone conference on Tuesday and it was amazing   and after Zone Conference we started a blitz with the Corbin Sisters since they had to drive past Berea to get back to Corbin we figured it would save them miles instead of having to come back up another week for the blitz. Anyways, I was with Sister West and Sister Mickelsen was with Sister Earl. Because we've been trying to make sure that Adam and Maelyn's testimonies are individual we thought it would be a perfect opportunity to teach them individually. Sisters M and E took Maelyn and Sister W and I took Adam. We met Adam at the library and we were going to show him around Mormon.org but when we got there he wanted to talk about the night we'd had at the Prices' watching that movie about Christ in America, The Testaments. 

So we did. Then he said he wanted to read about it in the Book of Mormon so we started reading in 3 Nephi. Then we started talking about Christ and sadness and hope and everything. Then he brought up temples. He wants to go inside one so badly. I told him that he will go inside one someday, after his baptism. And he was like, "Yep. For sure." I was taken aback a little because he usually laughs a little when I mention his baptism. But this time he agreed with it. So I asked him about his prayers and the answers he's seeking. He said that he hasn't had any answers yet but that he's been getting help that he's needed. I asked for what and he said for patience and purity. He said he's been so peaceful lately. So, we read Galatians 5 with him and talked about the fruits of the Spirit and talked about recognizing that his feelings are his answers. Then he asked what he'd have to do in order to be baptized and when he'd have to quit smoking and coffee and then we talked about a baptism date and I asked him to pray to know when the Lord knows he can be ready for baptism. He said he would! 

The next day we said a prayer together and looked at my calendar and he said, "October 27th." And so he has a date to be baptized on Hayley's birthday! It's so neat to see how the Spirit has been gradually working on him. He told me that his Mom will disown him and he's going to be homeless because he can't live with Maelyn anymore and he can't live with anyone else because they're all pot-heads and he can't be around that temptation. He's looking for a job right now but he said if he has to live in a tent to be baptized he will. We're praying really hard that he'll find a place to live. I know the Lord will bless him. Sister Mickelsen says, "Sometimes the Lord empties your hands so He can fill them with blessings." Please pray for Adam. The adversary is already attacking him. He's already having people die and go to the hospital around him so he can't make our lessons and he missed church yesterday, too. He's going to be such a great asset to the Church. Satan does not want him to join. Please pray for him. Oh, and after our lesson he asked what Sister West and I were doing next and we told him we had a lesson with some people and he asked if he could tag along. 

 So he came and we had almost a member present lesson (which is the best lesson to have with an investigator) except he's not a member yet. So it was like an investigator present lesson. He came in and invited them to church and really connected with them because he's really country and so are they. Then he was like, "Do they have a Book of Mormon?" "Yes." "Good. You should have them read from Three Nephi. Have you read Three Nephi yet? You'll love it!" Later on he brought up Priesthood and was like, "There's two kinds. There's the Milk... Milk? What's the Milk one called again?" Haha. So then we explained Melchizedek Priesthood and the Aaronic Priesthood. It was awesome. He's awesome. Oh yeah. And he's half Native American so he said he'd make me a dream catcher. He says that helps with his nightmares. I just love Lamanites.

The creepy spider is dead! Sister Mickelsen never would do it so there's this girl who has her papers in and is waiting for her call and she comes with us to appointments and stuff and she was over and before we left for an appointment I begged her to kill the spider so she got her shoe and flung him from our window onto the ground outside and then she went downstairs and smashed it and I could finally breathe again. I sent a pictures so you can take in just how big that thing really was. I will forever be a friend to Lainy Barrick because of the service she gave me in killing that spider. 

So, those who know me fairly well know that I love the show, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Well, we were talking to this lady named Julie (I sent a picture last week of her and her adorable fifth child, Junior. Well, she was telling us about having her first child. She said she had really bad cramps one day and went to the hospital and she found out she was in LABOR! She was 7 and 1/2 months pregnant and had NO IDEA! She hadn't gained weight and was on birth control and didn't ever feel him kicking or anything. She went from being a regular person to a MOM within an hour. It was crazy! It made me happy that I actually met someone who didn't know she was pregnant! My life is almost complete!

Berea had its annual Spoon Bread Festival this weekend. Spoon Bread is like soggy cornbread. It's not THAT bad though. It's just different. Anyways, during festival times, all the billies come out from their hills and it's the perfect place to talk to people. We walked around for a couple hours and met people and it was great. There was one thing at the festival though that I HAVE to tell you about, only because it's so Kentucky. We were walking and saw a big blow up thing like those bouncy houses people rent for their kids' birthday parties. This was shaped like a tunnel though and you could walk through it. But it was an ENORMOUS COLON. It was Kentucky's creative way of showing the different stages from a healthy colon to a sick colon. I couldn't believe it. And people were walking through it! Sister M was like, "Do you want to walk through it?" I was like, "My mother would never let me back into her house if she knew I had walked through a colon." We chose to walk around the colon. Gag. Haha.

Question: What do you say to an investigator who complains about the women who knit during sacrament meeting? I just told her, "It bothers me, too. It is not appropriate and I'm sorry that she does that." I didn't know what else to say.

One of our next door neighbors is a guy named Yohance. He's a tall, skinny, black guy and he's living with a short, round, white girl. Any quesses on how you pronounce his name? Here you go: it's yo as in "Yoda", han as in "Han Solo" and ce as in "Jar-Jar Binks". Fine... it's ce as in "Say what?" It reminds me of when Sis and BIL were dating and I used to call him Broance.

I met these people in the ward on Sunday who are related to us. Their last name is Meeks. They're from the same Athe Meeks who got killed by a tomahawk. They're from Priddy's line. We're from Athe Jr.'s line. Crazy. Cousins in Berea and cousins in Corbin and a Papaw and Mamaw in Salem. Haha.

The other night Sister Mickelsen and I were leaving the church in Richmond to get to an appointment in Berea.  The appointment was is an area that's so sketchy and cars get broken into all the time there and there's just a lot of creepy people around at night. The people asked us to just stop by for a second before going home. It was dark and if I had been thinking clearly I would have said we shouldn't go. But I was worn out from the stress of the day and neither of us thought about it so we headed to Berea. Well, the on-ramp to the freeway was closed so I decided to take the old highway. We headed south for 45 minutes and DID NOT TURN EVER. I don't know how, but after heading south for 45 minutes we pulled up in the Church parking lot again. No, it's not some loop I didn't realize I was on. I've tried repeating it in the daytime and can't figure out how we ended up back at home. We actually traveled home successfully the second time in that exact route we tried to take the first time. I don't know how it happened. It was the Bermuda Triangle effect or something. It was crazy. We were screaming because it was so wierd. Later I felt like the Lord was protecting us from danger that we would have met if we had made it to that appointment. Because we had to make the trek from Berea to Richmond a second time we barely made it home by curfew and had to skip seeing those people in the sketchy neighborhood. I know the Lord did that to protect us. I'm very grateful He did.

Ok. Well, I'm sorry, but I have to run. We just got talking to this guy in the library and we're going to have a lesson with him tomorrow. But I ran out of time on here because we were talking to him for so long so the computer is going to kick me off. But actually I'm not sorry. I'm excited to teach him.

Quote of the Week: "He that tooteth not his own horn, his horn never tooteth."
Extra Blessings: Dad, Paige, Pinegar Grandparents & Otie

Aunt Suzanne emailed me and shared with me something so profound that the new temple president in Brigham City shared at the dedication. He talked about how when Christ comes again and invites us to come see him in the temple, we won't be able to quickly call our Bishop and Stake President to ask for a recommend. They'll be with the Savior. So, we need to always have and be worthy of a recommend. I'd hate to be like those 5 virgins who were without oil in their lamps when the bridegroom came. We should always live worthily to go to the temple. Not only will it save us heartache, but it will bring us blessings.

I love you all. The Church is TRUE! Share it!

Love Yuns,

Sis


PS- Sorry I didn't get time to edit this. I hope it makes sense.

NATIONAL CHICKEN MONTH

 Thank you for your prayers this past week. I know that the way I've been able to get through this week is because of your prayers. It's been hard to not be in Salem for the funeral and to be with Brother Vonnahme. But I've been blessed with a busy and stressful week here so I haven't had much time to be depressed. It's been go, go, go every day and by the time I get home at night, I can't wait for my head to hit my pillow. Sister Mickelsen has been really good about giving me my space when I need it and asking me how I'm doing but not prying. I talked to Papaw Marvin last Monday and he said that it's going to be hard without Judie but that he's glad she's not in pain anymore and he knows their marriage is still in tact, it's just been put on pause for a while.

Close up on my guess at dad's favorite picture from the poster. 

National Chicken Month. Please notice all the awesome pictures. 

 This month is National Chicken Month. Why did I never know this until now? Probably because chickens aren't that important in the west. But they are out here. Just think about it: out of all the things in the world that you could devote a month to, what would you choose? An entire race got February. I'm not sure what the other months are, but I'm really happy that out of all the things to pay tribute to, and out of all the animals in the world, Chickens got their own month. So, eat some chicken or some eggs or play chicken or bawk instead of talk and strut instead of walk this month. Sorry I only informed you all halfway through the month. You could have already been celebrating these last two weeks.

Spider in the day

There's this enormous spider that has built a web across our entire window upstairs in our apartment. It's bigger than a half-dollar. It's easily the biggest spider I've ever seen in my life besides a tarantula. I can't open the blinds anymore because of it. Sister Mickelsen took some pictures of it and I'm sending them to you only so that you'll realize how hairy and multi-colored and terrifying it is. I don't know what to do about it. I want to call the Elders and make them kill it for us but Sister Mickelsen says not to and that she'll kill it but she never does. I HATE it!  

Spider at night

 We had some really good lessons with Adam and Maelyn this past week. They're both progressing at different rates in different areas. Maelyn will read and study and remember things and keep appointments. Adam will come to church and ask real deep questions. Maelyn keeps appointments but doesn't make it to church. Adam skips appointments but stays for all three hours. We've realized that we're going to have to start doing separate things for them. They aren't married and they aren't going to get married. They just used to date and still live together and it's really confusing. In a lesson on Friday Sister Mickelsen went to one part of the room with Maelyn and I sat in the other with Adam and we talked a little bit about nightmares because he has them, too. And then we talked about finding hope in a depressing world. I feel very strongly that I was sent to Berea in part because of Adam.

 The Price family was nice enough to have the four of us over to their house last night to watch The Testaments and have cobbler (he's the one who reminds me of Richard Dreyfus, she's a tiny Japanese lady). It was really good for Adam. He finally admitted to me yesterday that he knows it's true more than he thinks he does and that he just is afraid of committing to anything because the last time he committed to follow something exactly, it was the army and he had to do horrible things. We're working on building trust with him and Heavenly Father. Maelyn knows it's true but has never moved out of her house and has never had a real job and has never even gotten her driver's license. She needs the self-confidence to know that she can achieve things. She's been so sheltered and never been told she can do anything. But she can! We're just trying to build her self-worth.

Windee: the dog with a spine like a slinky

 Trinia went a whole week without smoking! Then her family bombarded her with anti about how we're a cult and how we're evil and she got so discouraged that she started smoking again and isn't sure anymore if she wants to be baptized. UGH! Satan! It's so frustrating. I've heard her bare her testimony and cry and tell us she knows it's all true and how it makes her so happy. She wants to do the work for he mom in the temple so badly. But Satan won't let people have even one day off. I hate it. We're worried about her. She wouldn't come to church on Sunday. We're hoping to take our Ward Mission Leader to a lesson with us this week. He's a recent convert and actually just went through the temple on Friday and was also sealed to his wife. He said he was hit with anti last year when he joined and we really hope she'll let us in.

A new guy moved in next door named James and he's totally prepared. We taught him and his roommate the plan of Salvation and before we'd teach a point we asked what he believed about it and he'd basically tell us what the plan says. He felt like the plan was very merciful and loving. He was in Iraq for a while and also Afghanistan. Last night he knocked on our door to borrow something and ended up telling us about his life and the things he's overcome and then told us that his little 3-year-old daughter passed away a couple months ago and a few days later his best friend died, too. I'm so glad we taught him the plan. I pointed him to Moroni 8 and I'm sure he'll love it because he was told that his daughter was going to go to hell by a preacher and that upset him. Our conversation ended with him asking if he could be baptized! We've known him a grand total of 3 days. What a neat reversal: usually we're knocking on people's doors asking them to be baptized and instead, James knocked on OUR door and asked if he could be baptized. I like James' method a lot more than the way I've been trying things the last year or so. Seriously though, it was a miracle and a much needed tender mercy after having tons of people fall through and cancel on us this last week.

The lady we think is on drugs came to church last week and her hair was amazing. It looked like when Paige and Hayley and I would play in the pool and do our hair like George Washington. She loved church and that week we were the speakers in Sacrament meeting and apparently told Sister Mickelsen, "Wow! Brooke sure is a great speaker!" Haha. She calls us by our first names. She left a five minute message on our phone the other day and then called back 30 seconds later and was like, "Sister Megan and Sister Brooke? This is Phoebe. I just wanted to you to know that the last message I left was by me. In case you couldn't tell it was me. Bye!" Haha. She's hilarious. We keep trying to get her to call us by our last names but she forgets.

The awesome house of a lady we teach who might be on drugs. We're not sure...  

 We were having a deep discussion with Adam the other night and he was asking why we don't pray with rosaries and about Mary and all that stuff and I said, "Well, we pray to God. Mary isn't God." Then he said how she became a saint or something and said I should go check it out in Jerusalem. Then he was like, "You know Mary died right across the holler from where Jesus died, don't you?" I lost it. Haha. Holler? I didn't know they had those in the Holy Land. I love Kentucky.

We had an activity with the other ward that meets in our building (Yes, it is weird that another ward is close enough to us to meet in our building. Also, we have PEWS in the chapel! It might be the only Sister Area that has pews!). So, we were at the activity and I got talking to a recent convert from the other ward. He reminds me of Art Lindsay in size and demeanor. He was really fun to talk to. He's from Mexico and he spells his name Jaime but it's pronounced "hie-may". Anyways, he asked me where I'm from and I told him Las Vegas and he said he lived in Vegas for one year 20 years ago and he asked where I lived and I expected him not to know. I always reference Summerlin and if they know it I tell them I live close to there. Most people don't know Summerlin. They expect me to say Henderson. If I lived in Henderson, I wouldn't tell people I'm from Las Vegas. Henderson is not Las Vegas. Anyways, I told him and he said he knew Summerlin. Then I told him the Lakes and he said he knew the Lakes. Then he told me he worked at the Citibank in the Lakes! What a small world! He worked like a block from both houses I grew up in. Crazy! It was awesome. And it was neat to think that we both ended up meeting in Richmond, Kentucky and that he had joined the church! 

Sister Mickelsen likes to stretch while she studies.

President and Sister Woodbury came and spoke to our ward yesterday in Sacrament Meeting. They talked on how the Spirit is still and small and that we have to be still to hear it. They also talked about how you never know if the people around you have changed and if NOW they're ready to hear the gospel. President shared several stories of baptisms in the mission of people who weren't ready the first or second or third time they came across the church but that through people fellowshipping and staying in contact and re-inviting them to come to church, these people were baptized. You never know. People might be ready that weren't ready yesterday! Love people enough to ask them more than once if they'd like to learn about the gospel!

Fall is officially here. The leaves are barely starting to turn and the rains are coming down. I'm excited for Sister Mickelsen to see how beautiful Kentucky is in the fall. Also, it's sort of on the DL that I'm in Berea because if people in Corbin found out, they'd bombard me and come up to church here and it would mess with the work here, so if anyone asks from Corbin, tell them I'm in Kentucky, but try to avoid telling them where in Kentucky I am. The Corbin Sisters said they don't know how much longer they can keep it under wraps from Willard and Otie. So, just a heads up.

Extra Blessings: Hayley & Otis x 3

I know that God knows us all personally and loves us enough to communicate with us if we will put in the effort. Pray. Read your scriptures. Go to church. Keep the commandments. Ponder on the gifts that we have from testimonies of the gospel. Read your patriarchal blessings. Personal revelation is real. The question isn't whether or not God is speaking to us. He always is. The real question is: are we listening?

I love you all! The Church is TRUE! Share it!

Love Yuns,

Sis

SISTER VONNAHME

I'm sorry that this is going to be short. I know I should probably be updating you on this week in Berea. But I don't really feel like I can. I just got an email from Brother Vonnahme telling me that Sister Vonnahme passed away on Saturday. I know you know how much they both mean to me. I've been given permission by President to give Marvin a quick phone call. I wish I could be there for the funeral. I know that you all don't know him very well, but if some of you would, I know that he would appreciate a phone call just to tell him that you're sorry and that you're praying for him and let him know how much I love him. Mom should have his phone number. Thank you so much. And please pray for me. I'm going to really need prayers this week.

I'll post the last half of his email to me. He's a great man with a solid testimony. She was the same way:

On Sept 26th we would have been our 53rd wedding anniv., but that is alright we are still married and we will pick it up where left off when I leave terra firma. It is going to be pretty lonely so I will just keep a phone nearby and call somebody when it gets to bad. Well I'll close for now but just remember this You will always be one of our granddaughters where ever you are.

The Gospel is true and will never lead us wrong. The Saviour is always there holding us up and guding our footsteps thru life if we just look for and listen to Him. If we do that we will never ever go astray.

LUV always, Marvin (Papaw Marvin)

I'm grateful for my knowledge of the Plan of Happiness and that through the restored gospel and His holy priesthood we are able to access Christ's Atonement. Through Him, we will all live again and, if we choose, that life will be Eternal.

Revelation 21:3-7 says:

And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.

I love you all very much. The Church is TRUE. Share it.

Love,

Sis

Sister Vonnahme (the funniest, sweetest, most unique character in the world =
she was a bright spot to all who knew her)

Burr-rear!!

I have never once had a transfer go the way I thought it would. Here I was thinking I'd be in either Paris or Olney and I ended up in Berea, Kentucky! Berea (or "Burr-rear" as the hillbillies say) might sound familiar to some of you. It's actually an hour away from Corbin! I actually did a blitz here last year when Sister Edgerton and Sister Noakes were the Berea Sisters and Sister Clemons and I were the Corbin Sisters! Crazy! I didn't think I'd be sent here because it's so close to Corbin, but the Lord knows my love for the Kentucky foothills and hillbillies so he sent me home (southern Kentucky) to die (finish out my mission). It's wonderful! Berea is actually like a hybrid of Salem and Corbin. It has some of the hills that Corbin has and some of the hillbillies. But it's like Salem because it's more sophisticated and less backwoods than Corbin. It has a college called Berea College and there are tons of international students. We actually have a recent convert from Liberia, and two new gators: one from Zimbabwe and one from Congo.

Me, Sister Clemons & Sister Mickelsen at transfers

I guess I should have guessed Berea because I thought Sister Clemons would be transferred from here because she spent 7 and 1/2 months here and she only stayed because she had to train the greenie that was meant for me. So, now I'm doing the second half of training with the Sister. I guess the Lord wanted she and I to serve together, but He wanted us to serve together in Berea. Her name is Sister Mickelsen. She's from Lindon, Utah. She's really into working out. She said the hardest part about coming on a mission was knowing that she'd have to give up going to the gym. That and not being able to go to the lake. She's very confident and very sure of her opinions. She wants to work hard which I'm excited about.


It feels real good to be back in Kentucky. But I do miss my people back in Salem. It's hard to go from seeing people you know and love all the time to not being able to see them or call them or anything. Plus, I'm not that good at making friends right away. And following Sister Clemons who is a saint has been hard on the investigators. They all miss her a lot. But I'm still glad to be here. Berea has a ton of investigators and the days are jam-packed. It's definitely a contrast to Salem. Berea actually has two sets of missionaries in the ward. We're in the Berea part and then there's Elders on bikes who cover part of Richmond which is actually where the church building is (which is 20 minutes away from Berea).

There's a recent convert here who is like a mix of Willard and Winslow. He got in an accident and went blind, just like Brother Winslow. But he's not ornery and stubborn like Winslow is. Instead he's tender-hearted and emotional like Willard. His name is Shirdy (like shur-dee). He said it's a mountain name. I don't know if he meant that it's the name of a mountain or it's a name that mountain-people use, like way back in the hollers. He's adorable though. He said he loves everything about the church except for one thing: he doesn't like how the Sisters have to move around so much. He misses "Blondie" (Sister Clemons) because she's the one who found, taught and baptized him.

We're teaching a sweetheart man named Buck who cries through every lesson.

We're teaching a lady named Trinia who is trying to quit smoking so that she can get baptized next month. Today we were talking to her about repentance and she asked me where I'm from and I said Las Vegas and she said, "Woah! I bet you have a lot to repent for!" Then she saw my inhaler in my scripture case and thought it was a lighter and she freaked out saying, "Why you got a lighter for, huh?" Haha. Later we encouraged her to pray and read the scriptures before she smoked. As we were leaving she said, "Bye! You girls be safe! Make sure to pray and read your scriptures before you light up, Vegas!" Haha.

The Sisters were teaching a body-builder who is really interested in the church and very sincere, but I found out that his wife said no to him taking the lessons and that he was meeting with us behind her back. We are no longer teaching him. It's hard because he really feels the Spirit and wants to learn more, but his wife is insistent in her stance and we would never want to come between a marriage by being deceitful.

Maelyn & only half of the animals that live in her house 

We're teaching these two people named Adam and Maelyn who are the kind of people I'd be friends with back home. They're real country though. It's great. Adam used to be in the Army and is now dealing with some of the side-effects of that. He's been raised pretty strongly Catholic and is still hesitating on committing to baptism. He comes to church every week though and says that knowing what he knows now he couldn't go back to the Catholic church. He'll get there. Not everyone would spend the night in the emergency room and come to church anyways the next day. I don't even know if I would. But Adam did. He's great. Adam's actually from East Bernstadt which is where Otis is from! But he spends about 5-6 nights a week at Maelyn's. Maelyn knows the church is true but is afraid because of the last church she joined and how things went wrong there. She reminds me of Apey back in Corbin the way she talks. Thick accent and she's proud of it. She introduced me to a new phrase the other day. We were driving in a neighborhood with a bunch of houses in it and she started getting claustrophobic and was like, "I'd never live here. Too many people. When I buy a house, if my husband can't walk outside and pee off the porch, we aint far enough back in the country!" I started laughing and blushing and Adam was like, 'You aint never heard that phrase before?" "NO!" "It's the way us hillbillies tell whether or not a place is fit to live." Haha. I don't know if I'll ever get used to how open people are with their bodily functions as they are out here.

Adam

We taught a lady yesterday and watched the Joseph Smith movie with her in her crazy, eclectic house. She had pictures all over her walls of her when she was young; she was gorgeous and so classy. Now she's a Professor Trelawney-type and doesn't wear much clothing but compensates with bright blue eye make-up and bleached hair with dark roots. She doesn't believe in shaving her armpits or her legs. I wondered how such a drastic change could happen to a person's lifestyle. At the end of the lesson we were talking to her inviting her to say a prayer when she interrupted Sister Mickelsen in the middle of her sentence and asked if she liked the movie The Hunger Games. I looked away so that I wouldn't laugh and that's when I noticed a powdery white substance on her coffee-table. Hmm. I'm not saying it was cocaine... It could have been sugar or sand or something. But... the way she was acting and talking... made me wonder. Needless to say, I don't think she'll be an investigator much longer. But you never know. Drug-heads need the gospel, too.

Adam's idea of allergy medicine is drinking honey

We're teaching this couple that's engaged and they're planning their wedding and it's going to be in a barn and instead of chairs everyone is going to sit on bales of hay covered with camouflage blankets.

See why I'm so happy about being back in Kentucky?

At church on Sunday, Adam and Trinia came. The man who was conducting the meeting got up to announce the sacrament hymn but instead bore his testimony for ten minutes. It was hilarious. Everyone kept looking at each other and talking with their eyebrows like, "Umm... what's he doing?" The bishop and the other counselor were having the hardest time keeping straight faces. After his testimony he opened the meeting up for others to share their testimonies for the next HOUR. Then the bishop whispered to him and he jumped back up and said, "I'm gettin' my horse before my cart again! We need to have the sacrament!" If that wasn't bad enough, the hymn was one that NOONE knew. Even the chorister and the pianist. She didn't sing and he fumbled through the whole thing. There were giggles all around and I finally stopped trying to sing and just hid my face in my mop of hair. I thought Adam was going to burst. The first testimony after we actually had the sacrament was a lady who pointed Adam out and said, "I saw you laughing, Adam. It's ok. I was laughing, too. Us Mormons may seem dull, but we can laugh at ourselves when we need to." He liked that.

There's a man in the ward who looks and talks like Richard Dreyfus. I commented on that to Sister Mickelsen and she had no idea who he was. So I named a bunch of movies he's in and she had never even heard of any of them besides Jaws and she said she couldn't care less about seeing that movie. I realized that my companions are usually Paige's age. But this one is actually Hayley's. Yikes! I'm feeling pretty old anymore.

Extra Blessings: Otie x 2

I have to run. I love you all and I hope things are going well for everyone. Safe travels to Mom, Dad & Sis. Happy Birthday, Paige!

The Church is TRUE! Share it!

Love Yuns,

Sis Nelson

I'M GETTING TRANSFERRED IN THE MORNING - Ding Dong I Think I'm Gonna Cry

Well, I'm getting transferred tomorrow. It's going to be really hard to leave Salem. But I don't want to talk about that. Too depressing.


Transfers: I don't know where I'll be going. There are seven Sister areas and I only know the three I won't be transferred to: Salem (duh), Corbin (duh) and Charlestown (because we called the Sisters and neither of them is being transferred). So my options are: Olney, IL, Paris, KY, Winchester, KY, and Berea, KY. We got permission to call Sister Ford even though she's not in our district because of another question we had to ask her and when we did she told us that her companion is being transferred. We talked about how AWESOME it would be if I got paired up with her again! We've both been asking President to put us back together ever since we were separated because neither of us were healthy while we were together and so we didn't get to actually WORK together. President always says that he'd love to be able to put us back together but "we'll see". Sister Ford said that she was talking to Sister Woodbury the other day and that she reminded her that President promised he'd see what he could do about putting us back together and Sister Woodbury said that she knows how transfers are going to go, but that President sometimes changes his mind at the last minute so she didn't want to say one way or the other because she might accidentally give wrong information. It would be a lot easier to figure out where I'm going if we knew which other areas are going to have a Sister transferred. But, since we can't call them, I just have to wait till tomorrow. At least I know I'll be seeing Sister Ford tomorrow. That's exciting. And I might even be able to see whoever from the ward drives the Corbin Sisters up to transfers if they're being changed up. My guesses are that I'll either go to Paris or to Olney. Fingers crossed for Olney so that Sister Ford and I can be together again! Either way, I know I'll end up where I'm supposed to be.

There's a lady in the ward who is awesome. She's the daughter of my "Fat and Sassy" friend. Her name is Sister Suvak (her husband is great, too, and has helped give me a couple blessings). She and I are pretty similar. We're sarcastic and know what we like and what we don't like. We connected over Barry Manilow and have been friends ever since. She found out that I love Amish people and this past week she took us to Amish Country! We went to two Amish homes where people sell rugs and baskets and things like that. It was wonderful! The best part was that I got to go onto their property and talk with them and see them up close. When I went into the first workshop where they have all of their merchandise on display, I thought I teared up a little bit and had to control myself because I didn't want this Amish lady to think I was upset. I was just so happy! They have the cutest accents! They speak "Amish" which is a form of German till they are school age and then they learn English just so they can speak to non-Amish people. But in their homes and with other Amish people they speak Amish. So they have these sweet little accents and I felt like I was on set for a movie or something. I waved at a group of little Amish girls and they waved back and I felt like they were all my friends. The two different women that helped me at the two houses were Sarah Yoder and Edna Gingerich (My Amish BFF's!) (Besides Jake Schmidt, of course. I'll never forget you, Jake!). Edna was 15 and one of 10 girls with only one brother. She was so sweet. It was wonderful. I went away with a pretty rug and a neat egg basket. I'm going to miss the Amish here in Salem! I love Sister Suvak for taking me there! She's so wonderful! She's taking us to transfers tomorrow and I'm excited to have good conversation on the way there.

This week we saw Sandra twice. Wait!-- three times. The first day was Wednesday. We watched a dvd about faith in Christ with her. As usual, I was trying to distract her son (the other one was at school) so that she could watch the movie uninterrupted. There's this Gospel Art Book that we have that he loves to look through. He loves any and all pictures with swords or weapons in them. His favorite picture is the one where the old Moroni is kneeling with his hands over the gold plates and praying right before he puts the plates in the ground. He's three and can't say his R's. Whenever he finds that picture he says, "That guy! He cuts off my head with his sword! He cuts off my head and then he puts it back on! He puts it back on and then he kills all the bad guys!" He calls it HIS picture. He's obsessed with it.


Well, on Wednesday, after he looked at the Moroni picture for a few minutes, we went through the whole book. When we got to a picture of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace with Christ, I thought he'd be excited but he got really upset. He immediately knew which one was Jesus and he pointed to it and got big tears in his eyes and said, "Why they doin' that to my God?" I told him that Jesus was ok and that he was saving those men but he wouldn't listen. He just started crying and said, "Why they doin' that to my God? They can't do that to my God! They can't burn Him up in the fire!" And he cried and cried. I scrambled to find a picture of Jesus outside of the fire and healthy but he wouldn't believe me that He was ok with any picture I showed him. Finally, I found one with him in a vision to someone with him standing clear of what look like flames and instead in safety and majesty. I said, "Look! He's ok. He got out of the fire!" His tears still in his eyes, his countenance changed and his eyes lit up and he said, "There's my God! He's out of the fire!" He grinned from ear to ear. It was a very poignant moment for me to realize that this little boy who hasn't ever been to church and who doesn't live in a very Christ-centered environment still has a spirit that recognizes his Savior. I loved that he kept calling Christ "my God" or his God. He took the injuries of Christ personally. It hurt him to think of his God in pain. It hurt him to think of someone being harmful to his God. And when he found out that Christ really was ok, he was thrilled. Am I hurt when I think about what pains Christ had to bear? Am I thrilled, knowing that Christ lives and that He can never be hurt again? Do I think of Christ as God or do I think of Him as my God?


We met with Sandra two days later and she is changing. Her countenance is brighter. She's been praying like we've asked her to and she says that it's making all the difference in the world. We taught her "The ABCD's of Repentance" (Acknowledge/Admit, Be Sorry, Change/Correct Wrongs, Don't Do It Again) last week and she loves them. She's been telling everyone at work about them and her family and friends. She's lit up. It's wonderful to see. It's amazing what the Atonement can do.


She and her boys came to church yesterday! They were pretty rowdy and she was embarrassed but we told her that it was ok. They'll get used to it the more they come. I think she liked it. They stayed for the first two hours and then they wouldn't sit still and wouldn't be quiet and wouldn't go to primary so she left. But when they did, her younger boy cried and said he didn't want to leave. I'm so happy for her and for her boys. AND the best part is: she's getting baptized on October 20th! Saying goodbye to her was very hard for us, but I know that she'll be ok with the new sister and that she's on the right path.

The last part of this weekend and tonight have been and will be filled with goodbyes. I don't like it. I'm not even close to packed because I hate packing because it means I'm really leaving. But, I know that all things the the Lord has planned for me will work out for my good. He's in charge. I hate leaving these people that I feel responsible for and that I've grown to love like Mark and Sandra and Wende and Brother Hobson. But they aren't my children, they're His. He knows what He's doing and He loves them more than I do. He'll take care of them like He already has.

I better be off. Thank you for your prayers! I'll be writing you next week from a different location! Hurrah for Israel!

Love Yuns,

Sis Nelson

Bold and Golden

This week we met with Josh and John three times apiece. And we set baptism dates with both of them for September 15th. I feel like that might be a little too soon since they both have Word of Wisdom problems, but we'll see. They're both really touched by the Atonement and they both feel the Spirit very strongly. We met with them both together on Monday and on Tuesday. On Wednesday they got in a fight so we only met with John. Then John left the next day for Florida for a week so we met with Josh alone that day. Hopefully they can reconcile soon or else it might be awkward to have them both baptized on the same day. They got in a fight over an accusation about one of them that I'm really hoping is false. If it's true, the one will probably need to go to jail before things can be fully repented of. But we'll see. One thing's for sure. These two guys are in definite need of the Atonement. AND, no matter the mess they might be in right now, Christ CAN help them change and become better people.

We also had a little drama this week with Sandra. She was at work and couldn't leave but had reason to suspect that her boys might be in danger so she asked us to go to her house and see if they were alone or if they were still being watched. Then she asked us if we could take them from the person they were with and teach them about Jesus until she could get home. We aren't allowed to be alone with kids. So all we could do is go check on them and say hi to the person that was watching them. It was really sad. The next day we taught her and she said she needs to get out of the situation she's in and she knows she does but she doesn't feel worthy to repent and change her life. She feels like she can never be clean after the sins she's committed. She said she doesn't deserve to do better. She said she feels hopeless. And THAT is why Alma 36, in my opinion, is the best chapter of scripture that we have. The pain and the anguish and the sadness that comes from sin/tragedy/evil CAN be removed. It CAN be replaced by peace and happiness and righteousness and joy. It CAN. Sandra is right: we don't deserve forgiveness. But Christ paid the price of our sins. Because of that, HE now sets the terms of whether or not we deserve forgiveness. We don't have to pay the demands of justice. We are allowed mercy if we will have faith in Him. We don't have to feel sadness forever. We don't have to feel shame and guilt forever. Misery is does not have to be eternal. THAT's the good news of the Gospel!

 We read Alma 36 with her and then we promised her that she can be forgiven. Then we taught her how to repent because she didn't know how. Oh, I hope that she can see what she's being offered. I hope she can feel the strength that Christ is offering her. She needs to get out of her living situation. She needs the faith to know that things can get better if she'll be brave and act. I see so much potential in her and in her children. While we were sitting with her, right in the middle of her breaking down and crying and needing comfort, her little three-year-old who had been getting into trouble off and on throughout the lesson came in the door hiding something behind his back with a sneaky smile on his face. I got nervous and didn't want him to add to her distress by being naughty, but I wasn't about to discipline him so I just watched as he eventually side-stepped his way across the room to his mom, keeping his back away from us so we couldn't see what he was holding. When he got to Sandra, he revealed what he was hiding. It was a little yellow flower from a weed he found outside. He said,"This is for you, Mom." Then they hugged and told each other "I love you." Talk about poignant. I hope she can hold on to that, to her boys and their potential, and do what's best for them. It's there. It's all there. They can be happy. They can be peaceful and righteous. They can be an eternal family someday. It all starts with the choices she makes right now.

We went several times to Mark's this week to try and set up a time to meet with him. Every time we drove by his place, his car was gone. He lives alone so if his car is gone, he's gone. We tried all different times of the day, several times a day. Not until last night did we finally catch him while he was home. He lives one street away from us on the second story of a house. The stairs to get up to his place are pretty rickety. When we got to the top, his front door was open and I could see into his place and saw that it was very... umm... we'll say "cluttered". I felt like it was rude to look into someone's house like that so I knocked on the paneling by his front door and hoped he heard me. He had music blasting so I wasn't sure. I heard him yell hello before he knew who it was. When he saw it was us he hurried outside and shut the door and said, "My house is a mess-- But it's not as bad as Kim's." (I believe that. Brother Hobson NEVER leaves his door open long enough for us to see inside.) But I don't care if his house is clean or not. I came to talk to him about the gospel. I had photocopied a couple pages from a book Brother Vonnahme has about the "reformed Egyptian" Mark didn't really believe in and I had a Restoration pamphlet in my hand. Mark goes, "You're dropping me off some reading material?" No. He's not getting away that easy. "Well, we wanted to talk to you." He said, "Oh..." Then he looked to the side like he usually does when he's having an inner battle. Then he said, "Well, I don't know." And he opened his door and put himself halfway in, but stopped there and didn't go all the way in. I just waited till he'd look me in the eye and lifted my eyebrows like you told us you would. Then he said, "Well..." and that was enough of a relenting for me. I jumped in and said, "When would be a good time to meet?" "Sometime next week." "Ok. Which day next week?" "Tuesday. 4:30." "Great! Where do you want to meet?" "The library." "Wonderful." And then we talked about his trip to Florida and then we left. He's so funny. He drags his feet but if you prod him on a little bit, he's willing. Before we left he said, "So these will answer my questions, huh?" I'm smarter than that. I wasn't going to give him answers to ALL of his questions. Then he'd stand us up. That's why I only gave him the answers to one of them. I said, "The other two I have the information on and we can talk about them on Tuesday at 4:30." He laughed and said, "Okay." So hopefully he shows. I think he will. We talked to Brother Hobson about it afterwards and he's just like his brother. He can't stop asking questions about Mark and if we've talked to him and what he said and all that and then if we ask him a question about Mark he says, "I'm staying out of it." Or he'll say, "It's no big deal. I don't care." right after he's asked us a question. They're funny, those Hobsons.

Brother Winslow always tries to get us to come inside his house because it's so hot outside and he hates being hot (thus his wardrobe choice). Every time he says, "Want to come inside?" "No, Brother Winslow. We can't." "Why not?!?! I'm not going to hurt you." "Because it's a rule." "Well, rules were meant to be broken." "No." "Come on. I won't tell nobody." "If we break the rules, God will know." "How will He know?" "The Holy Ghost will tell Him." "Aww. The Holy Ghost is a tattle-tale!" Haha. Yes he is.

This week we got to listen to Elder Christoffel Golden Jr of the First Quorum of the Seventy. He's a white guy from South Aftrica and he's awesome. He's the perfect example of how you can chastise with love. He was chastising us left and right and instead of having hurt feelings or being defensive, I felt the Spirit and wasn't upset at all. It was different for me. But I felt like, "Yeah. I should be better about that. And I will from now on." And I felt his love for us the whole time. He was bold. He didn't beat around the bush. But he explained the reasoning behind why he was telling us these things and it was only to make us better and happier missionaries. It made me really excited to go out and be bold but loving. So, we went and visited a less-active lady who is living with a man she isn't married to and has been for 16 years. We had never met with her before but I knew all about her. We planned on going in and doing a get to know you lesson and share a scripture about the Plan of Salvation. Instead, I asked her about her living situation and her testimony. She was open and honest with me. Then I asked her why, if she has a testimony, she's continuing to live contrary to God. Then I promised her blessings and told her how much God loved her. Sister Hunt was shocked. So was I. I wasn't planning on doing that. But I'm sick of being fluffy and limp-wristed with people. They know who we are. They know why we're here. Why pretend that what she's doing is ok? To save her feelings or her pride? That just hurts her in the long run. I'm sick of pretending to be happy for people who are choosing to let go of their exaltation. So, we got real right away. What did we have to lose? She doesn't come to church. The worst thing she could do is continue not coming. When we left she got emotional and thanked us for coming. And guess what! She was at church on Sunday WITH a peach cobbler she had made for us! Haha. It was awesome. Elder Golden was awesome.

That lesson with Sister Spurgeon went so well that we did a similar lesson with Wende. As long as I've been here in Salem I've never known of Wende coming to all three hours of church. This Sunday, she stayed for all three hours. It was awesome. Be bold with people. Show them you care about them and then really show them you care about them by encouraging them to do better. They can't get mad at you if they know your intentions are pure. And if they do get mad at you, they won't always be mad at you. We (lovingly) reprimand Brother Hobson all the time. And sometimes he's upset with us when he leaves. And then that night or a day or two later he'll show up with a treat for us telling us he's sorry and that we were right. We're here to help each other get back. Is sitting quietly in the corner, pretending that sin is ok helping our brothers and sisters? No. It's not. I'm not suggesting we should try and take their agency away or make them feel bad about themselves. We should make them feel like children of God with much more potential in them than sin and stagnation.

I'll step down from my soapbox, now.

Extra Blessings: Carly & Brynn, Sister Ford, Judy, The J's
Quote of the Week: "And behold, he shall be born of Mary... she being a... precious and chosen vegetable."

Things have changed a little bit since last week. I might end up being transferred after all. I think Salem is trying to kill me. I've had weird pains in my eyes and I woke up Sunday morning with one of them swollen and red. I looked GREAT at church. The poor people at church. I think I could walk in there with an extra limb growing out of my ear and they wouldn't be surprised anymore. Don't worry. Dr. Kakarlapudi knows. I'm on anti-biotics. But I'm afraid if I don't leave soon, Bird Fungus will get the best of me. We'll see. I'm still praying about it. Maybe I should change my name to Paula. That's what Dad has been calling me lately. (It's the female version of Paul. He was a missionary that had a lot of health problems, too.) Oh well. This doesn't change much.


[An additional bit of news from a separate email: [I have to tell you quickly about a tender mercy I had yesterday. I was at church and my eye was really bothering me. I talked to Tom Roberts who is a doctor in the ward and I didn't want to because I've heard the other doctors in the ward say that they're supposed to see people as patients in their offices, not at church. But Wende and Sister Hunt made me. He looked at me and was concerned about my eyes and the swelling and right then and there wrote me a prescription for Augmentin and told me to start it right away and to call my surgeon first thing in the morning. In my head I was thinking, "I don't have the money to buy that stuff." But I didn't say anything. Well, he wrote me the prescription, looked up the price and then pulled out $40 from his wallet and handed it to me and said, "This should cover it." I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say no thanks, but I wouldn't have been able to start the medicine if I did. It made me want to cry. I don't know how to thank him. But I know that he was listening to the Spirit because why else would he have given me the money I needed. It's making me cry right now, just thinking about it. I'm too, too blessed.]


The Church is still TRUE! Share it!

Love Yuns,

Sis Nelson

                                                                                                                    

 August 13, 2012

To Nina from Sis. B Nelson

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED

Whenever you hear missionary stories over the pulpit at church, you hear about miracles.  You hear the success stories.  You hear about how someone’s heart was open and ready and how their life has changed for the best and about the unbeatable, unmatchable, unbelievable joy that a testimony of the restored gospel produces  You hear about how this joy is felt not only by the new member, but also by the person who introduced them to the gospel. You don’t really ever hear the stories about the people who say no.  People don’t tend to share the stories about being yelled at or ridiculed or avoided.  You don’t hear someone at the pulpit tell how they’ve lost a friendship or a family member because they shared their testimony of the gospel with them.  You don’t hear about the sadness and the hurt feelings, the discouragement, the tears.

                My sister, Nina, is eleven years old.  She recently got up the courage to write her testimony in a Book of Mormon and give it to one of her dearest friends.  She was even brave enough to read her testimony before handing her the book.  She gave it to her friend because she loves her and wants her to feel the joy that she feels.  Nina was shocked when, instead of appreciation or respectfulness, her friend responded with anger and even started mocking Nina and the beliefs she holds sacred.  Stunned, but still sure that this gift would bring peace and light to her friend, Nina asked again if her friend would take the book.  Her friend became angrier and gathered her things and started to leave our house and walk home.  Ina followed her with the Book of Mormon, pleading with her friend not to be mad, but to take the book because it means so much to her.  The next day when Nina went over to play at her friend’s, no one called her Nina but referred to her as “missionary” in a degrading way and purposefully did things that they knew went against what Nina believes and then teased her about them.

                This is obviously NOT how Nina imagined sharing the gospel with her best friend would go.  This isn’t your typical pulpit experience.  It’s one that ends with your head buried in your mom’s lap crying tears of sorrow and pain.  It’s one that leaves you asking why your attempt to share happiness was met with contempt and ridicule.

                I understand why we don’t hear these stories in church, why we don’t share these stories with each other.  We want to encourage one another.  We want people to know that the outcome can be great.  It can be wonderful.  It can exceed wonderful.  We don’t share the rejection stories because we don’t want to discourage people or create fear of sharing the gospel.  

                But the truth is that there are people that say no.  There are people that get angry.  There are people that persecute us and belittle us and despise us.  And it’s hard to take; and it hurts.  Yet, Elder Jeffrey R Holland said this about missionaries, “When they struggle, when they are rejected, when they’re spit upon and cast out and made a hiss and a byword, they are standing shoulder to shoulder with the best life this world has ever known.”

                Experiences like Nina’s are important.  They define us. They force you to evaluate where you really stand, what you really believe:  Do you I still know that Jesus Christ lived and died for me?  Do I still believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet?  Is the Book of Mormon the word of God?  Is my testimony worth more to me than my pride?  Than my popularity?  Am I willing to keep opening my mouth?  Am I willing to face more rejection?  Was I seriously committed when I promised god to stand as a witness of Him in ALL times and in ALL things and in ALL places?  Am I willing to share the gospel with everyone I meet?  After one person says no, am I willing to try again with someone else?

                Not all missionary experiences are pleasant ones.  That’s why we’re afraid: they could say no.  Sometimes they do.  But, if the gospel means that much to us, if they mean that much to us, why aren’t we following them out the door with a Book of Mormon?  Why aren’t we reading our testimony to them face to face?  Why aren’t we insisting that we have the answers they’re looking for?  That we know why they are here on this earth?  THE reason they’re here and what their assignment is and how to accomplish it.  Sure they have their agency, their choice.  And they do.  And some will choose to walk away.  But, when the end has come and when everything is clear, we can look them in the eyes and not feel guilty and not have to worry that they’ll say, “Why didn’t you tell me?  You know that whole time? I thought we were friend!  They didn’t you tell me?”

                Nina’s friend left that house that day angry and upset AND without a doubt in her mind that Nina Nelson believes in Jesus Christ and the restored gospel, and that Nina wants her to have the same thing.  Nina stood shoulder to shoulder with Christ that day.  No doubt she made Him very proud.  She set a shining example for me.

                She reminded me of something that gets passed around the missionary world that I really like.  I’ve even written it out and signed my name under it because I so completely agree with it and want my own life to reflect what it says.  Legend has it that it was written by Henry B. Eyring, but I haven’t been able to verify that.  Either way, it’s my new creed.  It’s called “The Fellowship of the Unashamed.”

I, Brooke Nelson, am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.  The die has been cast; I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.  I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I won’t look back, let up, slow down or be still.  My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.  I’m finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap

I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, or popularity.  I don’t have to be right, first, recognized, praised, or rewarded.  I know live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power.  My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven.  My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, deterred, lured away, divided or delayed.  I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.  I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stood up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ.  I must go until He comes, give until I drop, preach all I know and work until He stops me.

And when He returns for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. 

My banner is clear…Brooke Nelson

          Nina is part of The Fellowship of the Unashamed.  I know it and the Lord knows it. And because He has seen that she’ll open her mouth.  He will use her and put people in her path that ARE ready to hear and accept the gospel.  And she’ll find them as she continues to open her mouth; and then she will understand as I do what Alma meant when he said, “And this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.  And behold, when I see . . . my brethren truly penitent and coming to the Lord their God, then is my soul filled with joy . . . my soul is carried away, even to the separation of it from the body, as it were, so great is my joy.”  (Alma 29:9, 10 & 16)

         Keep sharing the gospel, Nina.  The Lord needs valiant servants like you. And if you will stand by Him, He will stand by you.  I’m proud to say I know you.  I’m proud to say you’re my sister.  And I hope it make YOU proud when I say that YOU are a great MISSIONARY.