Friday, August 3, 2012

PLANS A, B & CURVEBALL - Monday July 16

If there's one thing I've learned on my mission, it's that my Plan A isn't always the Lord's Plan A. My Plan B isn't usually His Plan A either. Heavenly Father's Plan A is usually so far down on my own list of plans that it doesn't even make Plan Z. So when my Plan A teeters and is on the verge of crashing to the ground, I try to imagine the Lord saying, "my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your [plans] my [plans]" and trust that His Plan A will end up being better than mine. And I'm sure it will. Still, sometimes it's hard not to be shocked when Heavenly Father pitches you another curveball after you've already been pitched two in a row.

So, I haven't been sleeping much lately. I haven't been sleeping because I can't breathe when I'm lying down. Remember Bird Fungus from January with Sister Ford? Well, I guess the two months that I was home for Toby's extermination weakened me up or something. Cause when I came back to Salem, Bird Fungus struck again. No big deal. I called the mission doctor (he doesn't live in Indiana, he just talks to us on the phone) and asked him for a prescription of anti-biotics for a sinus infection. He asked if I wanted to see a doctor and I told him I'd rather not. I know what's wrong. I know what'll fix it. I've done this several times before. Just give me the drugs. So he says he'll write me the script and as he updates my file he notices that I had a sinus infection back in January. Then he asks me about my sinus history. I tell him about the surgery I had to remove my adenoids when I was 17 and how this happens a lot and blah, blah, blah. He changes his mind and says that he'll still give me the anti-biotics but that if I'm not sleeping because it's that hard to breathe that I need to see an ENT. Fine. Whatever.

So, Friday Sister Hunt and I drive down to New Albany to an ENT place. They call me back and I'm pretty miserable. I hadn't slept more than two hours the night before and I couldn't breathe. The nurse takes the 8 forms I had just filled out and turned them over and asked me the exact same questions I had answered on the opposite side and wrote what I said. I swear, they only make you fill those things out so you'll have something to do while you wait. They don't even look at them. Next time I'm going to write crazy things like that I'm telekinetic or 200 years old and see if they notice. Anyways, she can already tell by talking to me that the doctor will want to do a scope up my nose. Gross. So she gets out this numbing spray thing and tells me to open my eyes and close my mouth. I'm like, "I can't breathe if I close my mouth." She tells me to hold my breath then. So I do. She sprays the awful stuff up my nose and tells me to sniff it up. When I do and it makes a disgusting sound she goes, "You really can't breathe, can you?"

 A couple minutes later the ENT comes in. Are you ready for his name? It's Venkata V. Kakarlapudi. He speaks perfect English, too. So, he comes in and takes the scope and aims it at my nose. I gulp. Then I laugh. Then he says it's not as scary as it looks. Maybe not for me, but it's got to be scary for anyone putting their eye on a viewer of a camera that's stuck up a nostril. So he looks up my nose. This is what he says, "Wow! Wow! This is severe. Very severe. Wow. Wow." He basically repeated that over and over. In the middle of one of his "wow"s I had to sneeze so I told him and he pulled the device out and it was awkward but not for him because I guess he's used to it and then went right back up and continued his "wow"s where he had left off. Long, gross story short, I have several polyps in every nasal passage that I have. I have zero percent airflow in my nose. I have swelling on my ears. Basically, my sinuses aren't worth anything right now. The only option is. Well, I'll let you guess what the only option is. Go ahead. Guess. I'll give you a hint: I had two of them a couple months ago. One was in Indiana and one was in Las Vegas. Think you got it? If you guessed "Surgery" you are correct! You're prize is nothing but a good laugh. Or a good cry. Take your pick. I chose the good cry.

So, I have to have another surgery. That'll be three in four months. All while serving a mission. Do they give out awards for that? I know what I would like to win: one free kick to Satan's face. Oh wait, he doesn't have one. Maybe that's why he hates me.

It's still up in the air right now as to whether or not I have to come home for the surgery. I have a CT scan scheduled for Friday and that will tell Dr. K what kind of surgery he needs to do which will tell the mission doctor how long the recovery process will take which will tell me and President Woodbury if my mission ends in November or if it ends next week. If the recovery takes less than two weeks than I get to stay. (And my Mom gets to come out to Kentucky- I hope that's ok, Mom. I told President you'd be willing to do that so that my companion can go to a trio till I'm better.) If recovery takes more than two weeks, well, it looks like I'll be Sister Nelson no longer. They don't let you come back to the mission field twice.

First thing I did since I couldn't call home was call the next best thing: Sister Ford. We cried together. She suggested that she and Sister Walker and Sister Hunt and I fast the next day for me to be healed or for the recovery to be short. So, we did. What a sweetheart to offer to do that. I love her.President's fighting to keep me. The mission doctor said I need to go home now and be done but President is willing to let me stay if the recovery is short. I love him. Other sad news: I'm not training anymore. I can't. It's not fair to the greenie to come into an area where she has a companion who might be going home. Sister Ford is getting transferred from Charlestown. I'll miss her. I like Sister Walker though. Hopefully her new companion will be cool. I don't get a new companion. That's another curveball I wasn't expecting. But since I'm not training, the sister who was going to be Sister Hunt's new companion has to train now. So. Yeah.

I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why I can't just do missionary work, why I can't just be a normal missionary. I know what my Nelson side of the family will say, "You'll do anything for attention, won't you?" I should really work on not being such an attention hog. I don't know why this is all happening. But I do trust the Lord. He knows what's going to happen. He has a plan. He loves me and He knows what's best for me. I don't want to come home. But it's not always about what you want. It's about what you need. I hope that the Lord knows I need more time as a missionary. But if He doesn't, I know it'll all be ok. I know I was promised in my setting apart that my health would improve on my mission. I can see how this is the Lord making good on His promise. This will greatly improve my health. I just hope it doesn't end my mission. I do know though that people can hit a home run off of a curveball. It's possible.

I know I've asked and asked and asked for your prayers. I know I don't need to ask for more because I know you're already praying for me. Thanks. Friday will decide it for me. Sister Woodbury will call Mom and Dad once we find out.

This is the Lord's Church. He is at the helm. I know he loves us all perfectly. I'm grateful for the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. Through Him our wounds are healed and our tears are wiped away.

Love Yuns,

Sister Nelson

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