Monday, February 20, 2012

Poke Your Hontiss

Hello. A lot of this week was spent in our house because Sister Ford is still quite sick. Still, there's not really any dull moments in my life. Sister Ford and I can talk for hours and not get bored so it's perfect that we're the ones that would be together through these last weird transfers.

An elderly couple moved in next door this last week. And by next door I mean next wall. We live in a duplex thing where it used to be one house and then they put up a flimsy wall and turned it into two places. As luck would have it, the people next wall are chain smokers. Another lucky thing is that Sister Ford (who has never been sick and never been allergic to anything before meeting me) found out that she's allergic to smoke. Our landlady came over and put that putty stuff on all the openings and doors that lead to the other apartment to try and stop the smell and the smoke and the cancer to seep through to us, but it didn't help that much. So, all our clothes, couches and carpets now smell like we live in a casino. The landlady bought us an air filter (we named him Phil) and he works pretty well. But he only works for the room he's in. So we have to carry him upstairs at night when we go to bed. And we'll be in our main room and be fine but if you walk into the kitchen or the bathroom, the Smoke Monster has full reign. 

(Sad side note: Sister Ford has never seen LOST and therefore doesn't know who the Smoke Monster is). Sister Ford isn't going to complain about it anymore though because she's not too bad if she's next to Phil and she'll probably be transferred next month anyways. Oh, ALSO: Sister Ford has never had a bloody nose... until we went to the Roberts a while ago. She go the bloody nose as we were petting their dogs before knocking on their door. So, we're out in the middle of farm country with no Kleenexes or anything. I knocked on the door and the first thing Sister Ford had to say was, "Hi, can I use your bathroom, I have a bloody nose." It was HILARIOUS. Poor girl. She was the healthiest person. Then she was paired with the unhealthiest person. Haha.

So, we have these people that the missionaries have been teaching for a couple years that won't get married and don't come to church but want us to come teach them once a week. Yesterday Sister Ford was so sick that we MISSED CHURCH. This is the first time I've missed church since I've been a missionary. Well, that couple that won't come to church... came to church... on the one week we didn't. Sister Ford cried. I laughed so that I wouldn't cry.

Even more good news: yesterday I was going to run out to the car to get something and I opened the door and watched as a man tried parallel parking in front of our car (our car's name is Leroy, not Luh-roy, but Lee-roy). Well, the man didn't do a very good job because he backed into our car. There was a loud popping noise. He pulled forward and saw me walk over and then he got out and looked at the damage. There wasn't much, but the bottom of the front fender was cracked in half. He said he didn't think that his car could have done it. Uhhh.... So, we exchanged information, except for his insurance because he couldn't find any insurance cards in his car that hadn't expired. He lives across the street so he can't hide from us. But still. If I had opened the door thirty seconds later, he would have hit it, looked at the car, and ran inside so that we couldn't prove anything.

There's this dog that lives somewhere in the vicinity of our house. I don't know where he is, but if I ever find him, I might kill him... or his owners. I've never heard a bark like this dog's. I actually can't even call it a bark. It's a pain-filled, desperate, "I'm being bludgeoned with a hammer"-type yelp. It's horrible. And I don't know how his vocal chords haven't fallen out by now because it's a broken record. It's this painful cry over and over and over and over and over and it never stops. It sounds like he's dying. But he won't ever actually die! Someone needs to put the poor thing out of its misery. If not him, then me, please.

Since Sister Ford and I have been cooped up in our house a lot lately, we've done a lot of talking about nothing. It could have been cabin fever or maybe a real fever, but the other day Sister Ford went to say yamaka and tomahawk at the same time and ended up saying "Yamahawk". This sparked a rather lengthy dreaming up of a Jewish super hero that wore a tomahawk disguised as a yamaka on his head.


Sister Ford's favorite Disney movies are the two movies that Mom never let us own or watch after we saw them in theatres because she hated the animation/stories: Pocahontas and The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The only memories I have of those movies are: "Poor the Wine and Cut the Cheese!", God Help the Outcasts, Colors of the Wind, and Sis thinking it was pronounced "Poke Your Hontiss". 

Otis passed the sacrament for the first time last week. He said that he felt like he was back in Military because he was trying to walk in such a straight line. He loved the temple.

There's these things that sound like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park and look like a donkey on steroids called Mammoth Jacks. One of the members here has one and it is HUGE. You need to look them up. While we were at this member's house, the wife told us how she very, very much wanted us to be honest if we didn't like something she fed us because if she could tell that we'd lied to her, she'd make the exact same thing the next time we came. She assured us an reassured us that she wanted to know if we didn't like something and that she wouldn't be offended. So, when she gave us fruit I decided to eat what I liked and not take any blueberries. She noticed and asked me why I didn't take any. I gulped, scared, "Because I don't like blueberries." She gasped, "What don't you like about them?" "Umm, the way they taste." (Isn't that the only answer for why someone doesn't like a certain food?) "Oh, well, don't you know that blueberries are good for you?" I didn't know we were talking about nutrition, I thought we were talking about if we like a food or not. I just tried to change the subject and vowed never again to fall into the trap of being honest about food preferences on my mission.

Extra Blessings: Otis x 3, Malachi, Dad, Rex, Nina, Paige, Grandma Bonnie & Grandpa Rex
Quote of the Week: "This isn't in English! ... oh wait. Yes, it is. Nevermind."

There's a difference between belief and faith. Satan and his minions believe in Christ. Belief doesn't save us. What Satan doesn't have is FAITH in Christ. Faith is our beliefs paired with righteous actions. It's proof of what we believe and what we cherish and respect. People who think that their knowledge will save them, need to open their eyes and stop giving themselves excuses not to be obedient. I'm included in that bunch. Faith without works is dead. I don't care what the churches out here say otherwise.

I know this sounds like a grumpy email. I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I love being a missionary and wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything. Even Elvis... probably.

Just kidding. Even for Elvis.

The Church is TRUE! Share it!

Love Yuns,

Sis Nelson

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